The Church is wherever God’s people are wanted and loved.
Reflect the following questions as we think about whether the church is where God’s people feel wanted and loved.
If you are in a group, why not consider discussing some of these questions to learn from each other and pray about some of the important points. Maybe talk about some common concerns and interests and discover new ideas.
Wanted and loved
What are visible signs that people are wanted and loved?
Do you think there are differences between “wanted” and “loved”? If yes, what are they?
There are other places people are wanted and loved, e.g. friendship group. How is the church different?
If you are discussing this in a group: do the churches that you represent where people feel wanted and loved?
If you are doing this study on your own: do you regard your church is one where people feel wanted and loved?
If you are discussing this in a group: do the churches that you represent where people feel wanted and loved?
If you are doing this study on your own: do you regard your church is one where people feel wanted and loved?
Think of three ideas you can make another person wanted and loved either amongst your colleagues / acquaintances / church. Then, think about how you can do this. Is it possible to put some of these ideas in action?
Comparing individual and groups – It might be easier to treat individuals in terms of making them feel wanted and loved. Doing this for a group of people (e.g. house group, morning congregation) can be difficult because you might not know each of them. Think of examples you have come across where you were at the receiving end but you still feel wanted and loved.
Following above question, what might your principles be to ensure people are wanted and loved when you treat them as a group?
What biblical examples can you recall that show that people feel wanted and loved in church?
It’s far easy to say a church, any church, or our own church ought to do more to make people feel wanted and loved. I think we agree there are enough to deal with even with the regular people who attend our events, let alone new people. This might mean we need a way to deal with “wantedness” and “loveliness” that encompass both regular and new people, or we start with our regular people. When we are sure about what we can achieve, we can then welcome new people.
You probably debate long and hard about differences between “wanted” and “loved”. There are probably at least 20 differences. And a lot will overlap. Do you agree?
A key difference lies in whether we are part of them (new, or regular people) and they are part of us. Perhaps as common practice we include everyone in all that we do and say (and actions do speak louder than words), we don’t find it so difficult for people to feel wanted and loved.
If you find you are the one always initiating conversation in your church, that suggests room for improvement on both sides. And since the church is the organised part and there are many more of them than you, the issue tends to lie on their side.
- It makes a lot of difference if just one or two make effort to talk to you, listen to you, share time with you, etc.
- The other way round, if no one from the church makes such effort, and you as a "newbie" makes the effort, it will take months before anyone realises you are making the impact, and that probably is only you yourself making impact to one person in church.
- No need to labour this point, but it's so easy to miss this in our churches.
If you “tend to” (as in when people say “always”) socialise with a circle of friends who are also from the same church, there is an issue here where it can become a clique. You might not intend to ‘exclude’ (or not include) others. Friendship making is so incredibly difficult in within-church network that any such social group should be catalyst for inclusion.
