Resillience – it’s one of those good characteristic to have. Look in the mirror, it’s my shifty eyes, downward composure, and uncertainty with where to put my arms that give away someone lacking in confidence let alone resillience.
As I chatted with my friend over some time, he looked the confident type. In fact, spending time with him will reveal, and he regularly tells me this, that he is putting up a confident look. More to the point, he said he has gone through lots of “ups and downs” and “bangs left and pangs right” that he feels the word “resillience” applies to him, even for a person with a rather sheepish, unconfident, outlook.
He related to me episodes after episodes of confusion with wishes of his parents. These amount to what seems like long periods of “different wavelengths” between him and his parents. On top of that, I knew he had failed in some of his studies, and there were periods of uncertainty with accommodation. I asked whether some of the interviews whether it was true he could only answer 10% of the questions. He said that was roughly correct, he said he still was not sure because he left soon after he was told the result. While feedback was available, he chose not to have it.
Having written How am I?, and Where are You?, resillience is about whether you cope under tremendous pressure over a long period of time; My friend also added that it is being persistent and consistent with who you are and what you seek to do, to maintain the course, and change your choices where necessary but without bowing to pressure or favour, and to get through to the end.
I asked if he ever had sleepless nights; he corrected me that he has “long days” where he maintain a thought process on and off, with sleeps during the night, where he would keep pondering about something. He explained that is far draining than sleepless nights.
How does that relate to resillience, he asked himself. I said maybe “staying on course” to ponder about things is resillience. He disagreed. He said there is an aim, a target, a purpose, that one achieved, for the process to be proof of resillience. Does that mean such is proof of resillience, and he is a resillient person? Pondered again, and he nodded and said yes.
Reflecting, perhaps obvious, being resillient is not necessary something visible. It could well be completely “internal” to a person. In the case of my friend, staying on course to be himself, is sign of resillience.
Of course, given the same “person” but in a different “body”, and in exactly the same circumstances, that different person could well exhibit a different type of resillience. For example, being able to spend two weeks to climb a mountain, or being able to maintain a work-life schedule to have regular visits to loved ones to support, care and help with their daily needs. But my friend is not, or not yet, in a situation that demands such (climbing mountain, caring for loved ones). But he needed to stay true to himself. Resillience.
