Not sure what to make of it. OK, get straight to the point, the job that I was on probation for, today was the last day and the significant manager informed me, in a meeting of four including me, that I don’t fit this job.
Perplexed, I paused, or rather, I did not respond, and the manager repeated that.
As this was an online meeting, it was quite possible transmission problem prevented me getting all the words. The manager repeated word by word. Ending with “What do you think?” That was rather unfitting prompt. I am being asked what do i think about the declaration from the manager that I was percevied to be not fit for this role. To respond, I needed to take a stance but nothing ideal: to turn to the left is as bad as to the right, both bad.
- To respond to the question, would strike up a “conversation” which would have no substance since this manager was not my direct line of reporting; this manager was much more concerned about the business of the department.
- To respond to the situation also called on the purpose or validity, or even basis of assessment, of the probation. To enter a conversation about that would involve the two probation managers, and I was not prepared to do that. There was not going to be anyone “innocent” in this. No one can claim I told you so.
My answer was that I would revert this role to the original department. However, as the first manager correctly pointed out, this role was to work in that first department, not the “original”. I thought for a few seconds, and said (bearing in mind not to incriminate other managers, second point above) I will not look back and look forward to work out what is possible.
I remember it is at this stage that somebody said this must have come as a shock for you – either the first manager who said it, or the fourth person in the meeting, the representative from HR. It’s more likely the first manager.
That seemed to have been the cue for HR rep to say there might be another role that you might want to consider. The rep was happy to arrange a meeting for me to discuss further. And I made the only definite positive response in the meeting: to grab the earliest day the rep was going to be available for the meeting, which is on Friday. Four days to wait.
A little recap will be useful. The probation was set up along with a set of objectives. I met all the objectives, showed a lot of initiation. There are some activities, not probation objectives, that I have been told by one of the probation managers that I had not done to the required “level”. I believe however that this is not the point the first manager decided against me.
The fact that the meeting title was called “discussion” was a misnomer, a distraction, or a professional lie. Somewhere along the various happening is a thread of truth, I don’t know what that is, I prefer not to know. It could be a personality clash.
I could not let my emotions take over me. Perhaps it was my depression condition that made me much more aware of negative emotion that could lead to greater downward spiral. Somehow I managed to stay in the moment, try to stay calm, and hold on to the hope of the “Friday meeting”.
Reality check – I did the probation and fulfilled the objectives. I was told I didn’t make the probation. There was no warning. The decision was told in a four-person meeting on the last day of my probation. That much is truth.
